Airplane Anecdotes

So, I've noticed that if one flies frequently enough, you start to encounter a wide variety of in-flight experiences - often related to the people who end up surrounding you in the cramped, uncomfortably-close environment for several hours. Today I flew from Toronto to Calgary and was on the luckier side in that I found my companions humourous. There was quite a range of characters. To my immediate right was this very young, very blonde couple who were *extremely* lovey-dovey. Not so much as in "get a room" hanging all over each other, but more in that incredibly (potentially sickeningly) sweet phase of softly touching each other and doting on each other in the extreme. Every word out of their lover's mouth was a dream and every sight out the window a reason to exclaim with delight and coo about how beautiful the world is. They were extremely hilarious.

To my immediate left was a guy working on his adult coloring book - by which I mean he was reading a business magazine and highlighting just about every single sentence. At first I found this annoying (highlighting everything accomplishes nothing!), but I eventually decided that if he wanted to color in his magazine, that was his business. So, I just smiled. Then, there were the two people nearby talking rather loudly about their families. The guy was hilarious because he was going on and on about how is kids speak french and was saying how they're "strictly forbidden!" from speaking english with him and how "strongly supportive!" his wife is of their speaking french, even though she doesn't know french. Supportive my ass - I bet she secretly is pissed for being left out of all family conversations, and just hasn't figured out a good way to tell her boorish husband. I suppose I might be a touch sensitive to this, since my mother's family is all hungarian, and I frequently get left out of conversations - even though everyone in the room is also capable of speaking english. for my 2 cents, I say if there's a common language - use it. Anyway, I think I found the guy funny because of how self-confident (read: arrogant) he was and how every sentence he uttered about it seemed to have an explanation point at the end of it.(!)

To top it off, there was the cute little girl with two long pigtails who was trying to convince everyone around her that her arm had broken off (it appeared solidly intact).

Much better, I have to say, than my returning flight from Amsterdam, which included such characters as the groping french guy, the loud american coming from iraq who was proclaiming how much he missed seeing "titties" since all the women there wear modest garb, to the Hungarian jackass who asked me a bunch of astronomy questions and then said I was full of crap when I didn't share his insane theories, and who, once determining that I didn't speak the Hungarian language told me I "didn't count" as a person. Nice.

Boy, was I glad to get home after that flight. Oh, and did I mention that KLM ddeliberately made me miss my flight (because the baggage got delayed - their fault — apparently this constitutes a security risk) and then once I arrived they told me they'd lost my luggage? Fun.

Anyway, this was a better bunch, and from what I can tell of Calgary so far, it seems nice. More to follow...

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